i was thinking about the finality of it all - how someone can leave your world in the blink of an eye and be gone forever. it’s too enormous to think about. it’s too hard. and then you’re just supposed to go on like you’re supposed to deal with it, but you’re only supposed to be sad for as long as the flowers last and then you’re supposed to go back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the old days. i don’t have any jokes to tell, in fact i hope i don’t hear another joke for as long as i live. and the old days are just gone.